7 Things You Should Know Before You Start Trying for a Baby

Deciding to become a parent undoubtedly marks a new beginning in your life. However, while you might dive into countless books and articles on expecting and raising children, spend hours on parenting forums and absorbing every available insight from your own parents or friends with kids, it is essential to realize that every parenting experience is unique, so it’s nearly impossible to come fully prepared.

Still, the more perspectives you get to know, the relatively less stressful this adventure might turn out to be. Below, you will find a few pieces of advice to know before you start trying to become a parent. These include things like sleep issues, unexpected costs, overspending on baby stuff, reaching developmental milestones, or experiencing difficulties in making a baby in the first place. It’s one of the most significant decisions you might make, so ensure it’s an informed one.

close up of baby feet

A Baby Won’t Fix Relationship Problems

Your relationship with your partner is something you should work on from the very beginning and only decide to have a baby once you feel safe. Having a baby may help you realize what you truly want and need in life, but it won’t fix things between you and your partner.

If you have problems, such as infidelity, alcohol abuse, or abusive behavior, having a child won’t fix them. They will still be there, and you will be forced to deal with them in a very stressful situation, making your baby involved in a problem from the very beginning. So, if you don’t know how to leave a toxic marriage or make things right with your partner, it might be better to seek counseling than try for a baby.

You Might Go Through Fertility Problems

While it might be a good idea to start a family while you are still young, it is not always that simple. According to statistics, one in eight couples in the United States has problems either conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy. Additionally, as women age, their eggs become less viable, and the risk of miscarriage or passing on genetic abnormalities increases.

So, if you’re struggling with fertility issues, it’s quite possible that sooner or later, you will have to consult a fertility specialist or even undergo treatment. This is especially true if you are over 35 years old.

Your Sleep Quality Will Decrease

As soon as you learn that you’re going to become a parent, one of the first things you should consider is your sleeping habits. The fact is that pregnancy can be pretty stressful for some women, so they might experience problems falling asleep or waking up multiple times throughout the night. They might also struggle with raging hormones, nausea, and other ailments. However, even if you try to get as much sleep as possible during your pregnancy, you won’t be able to enjoy such a great sleep quality after your baby is born.

The reason is simple –  babies need to be fed frequently, which means that you’ll probably wake up every couple of hours just to feed them. Some people believe that babies should sleep through the night by the time they reach 12 months, but this isn’t really what happens with all children. So, while there are plenty of tips and tricks that may help you teach your kids to sleep independently, it won’t necessarily happen overnight.

You Might Be Overwhelmed with Unexpected Costs

Most people assume that the biggest financial burden of becoming a parent is the actual cost of raising a child, especially when it comes to items such as diapers, clothes, toys, and baby gear. Unfortunately, it is not all, though it might be enough to overwhelm fresh parents even if one of you decides to stay at home to save on nannies.

The fact is that there are plenty of other costs you might have to consider before becoming a parent, such as prenatal care or pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, parenting classes, medication for morning sickness, birth classes, special services, equipment for premature or disabled babies, or any other unexpected yet necessary expenses.

You Will Have to Consider Your Working Arrangements

Considering that taking care of a newborn is not an easy task and requires a lot of time and effort, many new parents decide to take some time off work. However, before you do so, it is essential to ensure if your employer provides paid maternity or paternity leave or if you can afford to stay at home for some time. Working from home may be a good option, but not all jobs allow enough flexibility.

As you realize, your body will undergo significant changes during pregnancy, so it is essential to take care of yourself and avoid stressful situations as much as possible. If you crave to get out of the house and interact with other people, you might keep coming to the office or perhaps even quit your current job and find something that provides a more flexible working schedule.

You Don’t Need as Much Baby Stuff as You Think You Do

Another thing that most parents tend to overestimate is the amount of baby gear they need for their newborn. While it might be tempting to buy everything your heart desires, such as a stroller, a crib, a car seat, a diaper bag, and more, it is essential to realize that you don’t need all of these things to keep your baby safe and comfortable.

Of course, you should make sure that your child doesn’t get hurt or sick, but you can always reduce the number of baby toys and clothes, as babies tend to grow out of them too quickly even to wear them out. And if you don’t need things like a car seat on a daily basis, you may also consider renting or borrowing them whenever you actually need to.

You Don’t Have to Worry About Not Meeting Developmental Milestones

One of the most common worries that parents have about their children is whether or not they are developing at a normal rate. As soon as your baby leaves the hospital, you will probably be bombarded with a list of developmental milestones that your child should hit by certain ages.

However, if you are starting to lose sleep over whether your baby might not be hitting conceptual or verbal milestones on time, you should know that there’s no need to worry. As long as a child is developing at a steady pace and doesn’t alarm your doctor, it is perfectly normal for them to fall behind in some areas and be ahead in others. 

The fact is that there is a wide range of what is considered “normal” when it comes to development. So while it might be shocking to discover that your little one doesn’t say their first words until the age of 1 year, it is still perfectly healthy.

Final Word

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest life changes you can experience. It is essential to do your research in advance and consider every single piece of advice that you come across. If you are overwhelmed, find a friend or a family member who is already a parent and ask all the questions that come to your mind. Besides, always remember that every situation and every child is unique, so while you might have to consider some things before your baby is born, there will be plenty of things that will come as a surprise. So, don’t overthink it, and enjoy the journey!

Krystal | Sunny Sweet Days
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